In a press conference later today, Omar Minaya is expected to announce that the New York Mets will be placing me, 41 year-old Brooklyn artist Patrick Jewell, on the 15-day disabled list. They are expected to call up my cat Livvie to take my place on the roster. Livvie throws right, bats left and plays for catnip.
Forgive me if you've heard this one, or something like it, before.
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